Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
