let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
