I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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