Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Randomize
