Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
