you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
barbara walters just said penis...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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