Can Purell be used as lube?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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