he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
