i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
