thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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