My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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