i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
