google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Oh god it's open bar.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
