Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
