Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
