shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Come see our sink grown plant.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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