i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
