I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
