I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
