He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
