i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
