I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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