Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I'm having to shit out rocks
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
