farters have to be the big spoon...
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just pee around me
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
