Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
and you fell through a lawn chair
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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