OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize