I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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