I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
