so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
