I accidentally had phone sex last night
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
