do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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