Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
