did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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