Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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