Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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