I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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