Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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