I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
