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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Wat???

  (312): View more from Illinois

  U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  well..are you winning?

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music

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• (713): View more from Texas

  I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.

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• (607): View more from New York

  It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.

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• (925): View more from California

  It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.

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• (213): View more from California

  How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.

  (213): View more from California

  .....unless there is alcohol involved

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• (661): View more from California

  U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings

  (707): View more from California

  My liver misses your liver

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"

  (1-704): View more from North Carolina

  That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha

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