apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
