HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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