I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
