birth control should be required to get into college
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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