If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
