the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
