I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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