Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
