i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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