I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
