I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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