I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize