Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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