Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
