Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She even gives head with a lisp.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize