I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
