We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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