his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
