next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
