There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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