Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
