Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
