I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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