When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
