1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
