i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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