your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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