did you get engaged???
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
