Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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