the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
